The day began with the obligatory early morning trip to chav-central where the day's provisions were sourced. There's duck on the menu tonight for Fillipa, The Master and myself, whilst Rez will be gorging herself on 2 Dentebits. Mr Big Lou will be mostly eating anything he can get.
Being Saturday the whole household had plans. I wanted to scrub the kitchen floor, particularly around Mr Big Lou's dining area. To say he is a messy eater would be an injustice. We have tried placing his bowl onto a plate in an attempt to contain the debris he leaves as he ploughs through the brown filth we feed him on. This was only moderately successful and vast tracks of food were constantly left in his wake. The latest advance in food containment is to use an over-sized, stainless steel dog bowl. This has made an improvement although when Mr Big Lou avails himself of Rez's "left-overs", which are served on a bone china platter, he finds it impossible to clear the spoils without losing vast quantities over the side.
The Master and Fillipa have another shopping trip planned. As usual I telephoned the the Clinique counter in Boots at 06:30 hours to warn them of the impending visit and allow them enough time to have additional stocks flown in.
However, back to the recreation ground, which ended up becoming the focus for the day. Wheelbarrows, spades, buckets and more men folk appeared and much pacing ensued. At this stage the purpose of the activities was still a complete mystery and would provide much entertainment throughout the day. To the casual observer Steve Hnabscuha (ask 'chelle) appeared to be the brains behind the operation and clearly determined where the digging was to be done. Holes were dug, concrete was mixed and poured and much more pacing was conducted.
Finally, without any form of fanfare or ceremony, goalposts were erected.
Due, no doubt, to the diminutive size of the Cuddesdon Village recreational ground the position of the pair of goalposts was separated by no more than 3.7 metres, which seems a little close to me. However, what do I know. A point worth mentioning is that at this time there has only ever been 1 goalpost erected at any one time. It occurred to me that the holes that have been dug are the positions for alternate goalposts as opposed to concurrent goalposts.
Eddie and Lily stopped by to form a first hand opinion and unfortunately Eddie's thoughts turned immediately to weeing. And not the handheld games machine sort either. Whilst the speedy Eddie can rightfully claim to be the first to Christen the new white uprights, I feel certain that he wont be the last.
Finally a second set materialised and it would appear that the goalposts have stopped being moved. Nets have been added and a roughly marked pitch has been hand-mown. The recreation ground is now awash with grubby urchins come to knock one in, slide one past the obligatory tubby ginger goalie, in spite of his over-sized gloved hands.
As the evening wore on the urchins were replaced by a much older and it has to be said tubbier gang apparently come to recreate past glories. Brief moments of bipedal magic were interrupted by coughing bouts, doubling over and spitting and the imbibing of the occasional Capstan Full Strength. I'm beginning to think that this summer the recreation ground will provide even more entertainment than the time when 2 locals were seen pissing on the bonfire the night before the annual display and then trying to light it. Now there's a story that needs airing if ever there was one.
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