Changes Afoot

Shocking news from Cuddesdon. It would appear that attempts are being made to sell "The Cottage". I arrived home one evening to find some grubby little van driving man erecting a "For Sale" sign in my garden. My initial thoughts were that of homelessness, cats and drag queens being fostered out to Oakley and separation from our fascinating neighbours.

I ran to the phone and called the local blood-sucking property agents, to be told by whom I can only imagine as a 19 year old, pimply, greasy haired office junior that it was in fact "The Cottage" that was being sold and was I interested in a viewing. At that point I put the phone down, obviously.

On a brighter note Big Lou is over-joyed that Beelzebub and Damian, the current occupants, will be leaving. The vile Tabby pair have caused nothing but trouble since their arrival. Forcing their way through the now defunct passage to wreak havoc with the gorgeous Rez and the somewhat simpler and more cowardly Big Lou. In spite of being the size of a small Bulldog, Big Lou remains scarred of well almost everything, including the small Tabby pair from "The Cottage" and "The Strange Millie Type Cat who passes through occasionally. (NB. "The Strange Millie Type Cat" is so strange that in the fullness of time an entire post will be devoted to her and her work).

A few days after the erection, The Village Oracle positively jogged down the hill to speak to me as I returned from an early morning spat at the newly re-fitted Asda. (They can now cram more chav's down 1 aisle than any other major retailer). Hot on The Village Oracle's heels was Scottish Jill bursting with inquisitive excitement. In unison they pressed me for information. Jill even tried trading Village gossip by telling me that she had sold her house to a friend who would be renting it out once they leave in November. In the end I could hold back no longer and I squealed like a stuck pig that it was "The Cottage" that was being sold. Both left, triumphant that they had gleaned facts from an ill-prepared poof.

It was at that point that the cruel reality dawned on me.

Dom & Michelle - Gone
T & Ross - Gone
Jill & Clan - Gone
Cat Killer - Gone
And now to top it all BC & Anni - Gone

Life in Cuddesdon will never be the same.......................................................................