Rez possesses a natural grace and moves around with the ease of a ballet dancer. Her jumping is both accurate and stealthy and she can jump from the windowsill to the floor without making a sound. Last Saturday she decided to climb one of the tall flimsy trees that resides in the back garden and as usual she did this with a lithe beauty that was a joy to behold. Using almost imperceptible shifts of weight to each of her paws she was able to move in any direction. When she decided that she had seen enough she simply and calmly traversed down through the branches to ground level.
Sitting under a bush on the opposite side of the garden, observing Rez's high altitude antics was Mr Big Lou.
Now fast forward to this morning. I was about to get in the car when in my peripheral vision I caught sight of a tree, shaking violently. Even though it was incredibly windy at the time the alarming degree of movement was, I feared, too much for natural causes . My gaze then moved up the tree to a point four fifths of the way to the top where a very large black furry creature was swaying back and forth in the wind. My first thoughts were of bears or maybe gorillas although I dismissed this quite quickly as I did not think there were any native to South Oxfordshire. I decided to get closer and moved to the base of the tree and looked up again. This time I instantly recognised the source of the wildly waving tree, it was none other than Mr Big Lou. Apparently he had been entranced by Rez's airborne feats at the weekend and felt that it was well within his capabilities to emulate. He had also been egged on by Damian, one of the evil Tabby's from next door, who could be glimpsed at the far end of the drive with a smug grin etched upon his evil, lip-less mouth. Lou also reasoned that it would enable him to take his conservation work closer to the birds he had sworn to protect.
Had it not been so precarious, Lou's predicament would have been funny. At no point could he ever have been accused of being at one with the tree or the stunt. Each of his huge paws were straddled across different branches, one of which was in an adjoining tree. He made several attempts to regain his composure but unfortunately lost his footing/pawing each time. When this happened he moved in a style that I think he believed was controlled falling. My own view is that it was simply falling. I tried coaching him down but as we all know he is unable to interact with me during the hours of daylight and ignored all of the advise I shouted to him. After several more attempts of uncoordinated, gravity-driven lurches Mr Big Lou was suspended by his back legs, his face looking directly at the ground.
Suddenly a sharp crack was heard and one of the flimsy branches gave way under the weight of Mr Big Lou. Down he came, headfirst, taking out several more branches on the way. With an almighty thud he lands, completely ungainly on terre-firma and much to my relief, not to mention his own, he walks off, apparently unscathed. I can only hope that the lesson he will take away with him is that Rez moves on an entirely different plain to him and he must not try to copy her.
Only time will tell.
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