Road Traffic Warning

After several days of deliberation and deep, deep thinking then more deliberation, Fillipa finally took the plunge today and purchased a new automobile. Make no mistake this is no ordinary car. It is drop-top, high power sports car and it is definitely not a tarts car.

The decision making process has been both exhaustive and exhausting for all those caught up in it. On balance it appears that the most significant justification for the extravagance of this purchase, is the fact that Fillipa will only be young once. (That however remains to be seen). The final piece of the jigsaw fell into place this morning during a test drive to Great Milton. It turns out that there are only 2 pedals in the car which leaves slightly more room for Fillipa's feet. Being of a larger shoe than most this feature went immediately onto the plus side of the equation.

With respect to to the mechanics of driving the beast, the nice man who accompanied Fillipa on this death defying speed test took a line directly from his handbook of "Condescending Saying's for the Car Salesman of the 1980's";

"Just push that lever to D for drive, and don't worry your pretty little head about all those buttons on the steering wheel".

Twat!

At this precise moment the aforementioned vehicle has been removed to a secret workshop for some necessary modifications prior to its delivery. These include stiletto-proof stainless steel plates being welded to the foot-well. The attaching of a pink faux-fur trim around the leading edge of the windscreen that is designed to "pop-up" when the roof is removed. Finally, the rear-view mirror along with both wing mirrors have been extended and welded into a position that ensures Fillipa has a 360° view of herself from the driving position. The final part of the "pimping" involves extending the space in the glove box to include a chiller for Clinique products.

Delivery is anticipated for Friday afternoon or Saturday morning. Plans are being made to close the access roads to the Village in order for Fillipa to practice getting in and out of the low profile seats without revealing too much under-carriage.