Fireworks and Felines

CAT POPULATION 48.75
SOUTH AFRICAN POPULATION 0

So here we are again, the fireworks have gone up with a whoosh and the bonfire remained, thankfully, un-pissed upon this year and burnt until dawn. Turnout appeared a little down on previous years and the duration was somewhat stinted. One of the more interesting attractions this year was the freakish little man from next door standing on the drive in her 1967 mods Parker coat, complete with rotten fur trim, now yellow and curling with age. For the duration of the display she stood, eyes wide with anticipation, with her hands clasped tightly over her tiny ears. The more observant on-looker could, if they concentrated hard enough, detect a tiny tremble in her frail frame as she silently mouthed "ooos" that mimicked the assembled crowd.

As the blue touch-paper was being, well touched, over the hill in the big city Fillipa was watching the South Parks display from a splendid and rather exclusive vantage point of the sixth floor of the JR. Assembled around his fully adjustable hospital bed were The Ring Master, and 2 close friends from the dark side. Fatface, a girl with the most fantastic views on life and an acute sense of the ridiculous. Sensitive yet also able laugh in the face of the crap that life can toss carelessly her way. Her long-suffering devotion to Trotter, her brain damaged dog, is the stuff of legend and may be explored further at a later date. Fillipa's other visitor was Edward. Some would say that a little Edward goes a long way whilst others may go as far as to say he is an acquired taste however his friends love him very much. He has recently gained local notoriety by winning the Drag night with his black wedding dress ensemble. My own view is that he looked far too close to Divine from the John Walter's films, a vision that can boarder the grotesque. His visit to the hospital to see Fillipa was the cause of much inappropriate hilarity, still if you can't laugh when those around you are puking incessantly and pissing themselves, literally, with impunity, then when can you. After the extravagance of the Firework display Edward, Fatface and The Ring Master stole a wheelchair and proceeded to break Fillipa out of the ward to purchase something more nutritious than the imaginary meal that had not been served to Fillipa for his tea.
Fillipa had been admitted to hospital on the Friday due to a particularly evil stomach upset that he had picked up from one of the vile creatures he looks after. Matters had taken on an alarming turn of events when he began to pass blood. Tests were carried out to identify the cause culminating in an endoscopic examination, or as I prefer to call it an other-endoscopic examination. Nothing was conclusive and he returned to the Village on Monday with dignity slightly dented and a feeling of slight violation.

Much activity has been heard around The Cottage, although visual reconnaissance is proving almost impossible due to the thickness of vegetation that now obscures the view. Furthermore certain paths, or should I say passages have now healed completely and provide no means of access to the footpath.
Indoor plants have appeared on both upstairs window sills, type not known, but would appear to be legal. The most significant event is that 2 tabby kittens have appeared and are assumed to be the residents of the cottage. They are both very friendly and playful. Rez hates them and spends much of her waking hours devising booby traps to set in the surrounding landscape. Whenever one of the new felines is sighted she emits a low frequency growl, designed it is assumed to strike fear into the hearts of any creature within hearing distance. I have to say it's not that convincing. Any actual skirmishes have, to date, been fairly low-key with neither side appearing to put any real effort into it. Big Lou, I have to report has not covered himself in glory. Upon seeing one of the interlopers his course of action is to get as low to the ground as possible, presumably to evade detection by radar, and run as fast as his truncated frame will carry him. Rez now refuses to include him in any of her plans for village domination.